My worst meet-cute ever
How my unwanted roommate became one of my besties. Plus, zeitgeist-y role models: Martha Stewart & Beth Dutton
I met one of my best girlfriends under really odd circumstances.
Almost 20 years ago, we were VPs at the same bank (formerly Wachovia, today known as Wells Fargo) covering different regions: she in Macon, and I in Atlanta, Georgia.
We were attending an offsite training.
Instead of giving us our own hotel rooms, the bank thought it would be a good idea for us to be roommates, despite us never having met before.
I arrived at the hotel first. And, I was beginning to feel an itch in my throat; early signs of a head cold.
By early evening, my roomie hadn’t shown up, and I wasn’t feeling any better, even after hot soup and tea.
As it neared midnight, I figured she was a no-show. I was beginning to feel lucky at the prospect of having a double king room all to myself.
You know, the same anticipation when the middle plane seat is empty and and the boarding door is almost closed. Almost.
But as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard someone trying to open the door.
I’d locked up with the extra hotel door latch, so no one could get in.
BANG BANG BANG!
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I leapt out of bed and threw the door open. We came face-to-face.
Can you imagine our mutual surprise and disgust when we saw each other?
We sized each other up real quick.
I thought, who the hell is this blonde chick, a little smaller than me, but trying to take down the door?
She immediately apologized and said she had no idea that she was getting a roommate.
The next 30 minutes were so awkward.
Picture getting ready for bed around a total stranger.
The next morning, we kept things cordial and smiled at each other through breakfast.
But by that early evening, after the day’s sessions were over (and many cups of Theraflu later) we got to talking.
And we bonded. Something clicked.
We realized we were both ambitious, driven career women.
We talked about how we became fiercely and financially independent from a young age.
I told her how, after I left home for college, I never accepted money from my parents again.
Even so, growing up I worked at my parents’ restaurant for my allowance.
She told me how raising a young child—when she was barely an adult herself—forced her to grow up, and fast.
We realized we both liked to work hard, and really liked to make money for ourselves, so we could do things we enjoyed like travel, go out to eat, and recreational hobbies like golf and skiing.
We were also fairly new hires, and felt the same pressure to make a great first impression at this corporate training.
From that day on, we’ve seen each other through professional ebbs and flows, multi-hyphenate careers, and entrepreneurship journeys.
We’ve also survived significant relationships, marriages, divorces, babies, and children—now young adults themselves.
Through it all, we’ve supported each other and it’s a fact: we are some truly fucking resilient bitches.
I bring up the power of female friendships as a reminder to other women to try to make an effort.
To be friendly, to help each other—even if an uber competitive, hostile, or strange environment wants you to default to base instincts like selfishness, competitiveness, or envy.
In short, if you’ve been pitted against each other as likely adversaries, then why not join forces and become absolutely indestructible?
Be open and make an effort
As I’ve gotten older, it’s become more of an effort to make and maintain new (female) friendships.
But it’s not impossible. You just have to be open.
You may need a lot of motivation to get out of the house, inner work, peace, or maturity to get there, but it’s there.
May you be so blessed for kismet-like moments when you meet a solid person who will be in your corner for a very long time.
But also, try and help out people if you can.
Unfortunately, over the course of my career, I’ve encountered some true hags.
They don’t help other deserving women for no good reason at all, aside from personal insecurity or fear of being undermined or overshadowed.
I’ve encountered hypocrites and narcissists too, who act in ways that directly counter “do good” public personas.
Be adept at sussing out virtue signaling. This happens when someone posts something or demonstrates to the world they care about an issue, but it comes off disingenuous and massively self-serving.
Don’t be like that.
Instead, be a mentor. Make introductions and connections, both business and personal.
Be gracious if you see versions of yourself in someone’s shoes.
I’d rather be helpful, polite, and generous, which is why I mentor a young woman and participate in business communities and masterminds where I can share my lessons learned.
Zeitgeist-y
The return of Yellowstone
The moment is finally here: the return of Yellowstone, also the show’s final episodes over 5 seasons.
I’m ready to see one of my favorite TV heroines back onscreen: Beth Dutton.
If you’re unfamiliar with the series or this character (played by Kelly Reilly), I don’t think I’m wrong when I say most women want a little of her in them, no matter how polarizing she may be:
She’s sassy, badassey, and has no problem speaking her mind
Despite her tough exterior, she is incredibly vulnerable
She can go from cowboy hat and boots to a fashion-y Réalisation Par summer dress
She’s madly in love with Rip, a man’s man who’s always got her back and deals with all of her crazy
She’s a finance and real estate whiz, singlehandedly negotiating and structuring million-dollar deals against politicos, private equity CEOs, and hedge fund mavens
The Martha Stewart documentary
After watching Martha, a few moments linger:
She reinvented herself at 45-years-old, and was the first self-made female billionaire
Her longtime (also billionaire) boyfriend Charles Simonyi barely wrote her when she was in jail, visited only once, and married a woman 32-years his junior only 6 months after breaking up their 15-year relationship
One of her fellow inmates was convicted felon Sister Carol Gilbert. Upon digging, this was the nun’s crime
The portrayal of her friendship with rapper Snoop Dogg is one of the realest, sweetest moments
She’s a finance, business, and branding whiz who singlehandedly negotiated and structured million-dollar deals with media titans, companies
What incredible female figures to behold!
What about you?
How did you meet your best female friends?
Who are some of your female role models? Real or fictional?
Are you watching Yellowstone, or have you seen Martha?
Tell me in the comments below!
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Until next time,
Shindy
On Instagram + TikTok
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I loved this! I’m absolutely not as cool as you are; I would have freaked out rooming w/ someone I’ve never met. You’re an adventurous inspiration; I learn so much every week. 💯💯💯💯💯💯