Rituals: How I keep a tidy house
Hint: I hire housemaids, and you can, too
I hate scrubbing toilets.
Especially after other people. Ew. Gross.
But that’s exactly what happened when I became an unofficial housemaid for three grown men (my ex-partner and his lovely boys) during lockdown.
Don’t worry–they all learned, and fast.
During lockdown, dogwalkers, babysitters, maids, and housekeepers–you know, the people that keep peoples’ lives running–were banned from entering most New York City apartment buildings.
If you didn’t live there, then you weren’t allowed in.
This is perhaps a reason for why all the divorces in the fallout—people suddenly realized what entitled, lazy slobs and generally unpleasant people their partners and families were.
As for the four of us, we all eventually got into a rhythm and delegated housekeeping duties.
Looking back, we were lucky to be together and fortunate enough to stay healthy through all the madness.
But it also became apparent that keeping a house neat and tidy is really hard, together or alone.
Yet, it’s a discipline that can start at a young age.
You’re either taught, or you eventually learn.
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I have this (ridiculous) fear that if I’m ever found dead and alone in my house, it will also be when it’s dirty and disorganized.
Oh god, let that not be my legacy.
I don't know when or how I became so meticulous about having a clean and tidy house.
But I do remember that growing up, I was fortunate enough to have an almost ensuite bathroom in the house I lived in my middle and high school years.
One bathroom door led to my bedroom, the other to a main hallway. So it was pretty much my bathroom, all to myself.
Even as a tween and teenager, I kept it tidy. We never had maids.
I would scrub the toilet, wipe down the countertop, and vacuum and mop the floors on a weekly basis.
I’m not sure if I have undiagnosed OCD but I would freak out if any hairs, streaks, or water spots remained.
Later in life, I adopted a “messy is okay, dirty is not” mantra.
I even stated this in one of my dating profiles waaaaaay back in the day when I tried match.com on a dare, for a month.
A maid is a privilege
Having a maid is a little luxury in life and one I prioritize over many other things I could spend my money on, and one I don’t take for granted.
The amount of time my cleaners save me, plus the untold amount of mental space, decision fatigue, joy, leisure, and serenity when other things in life get chaotic, is just priceless.
There's nothing better than coming home to a clean house when I'm away for the day, week, month, or after travel.
You can probably afford a maid
For everyone thinking “I can’t afford a maid.”
You probably can. You just haven’t worked out the numbers.
When I was running my business, I listed out all the little time-consuming tasks I was doing, but didn’t need to do myself.
Sure, I could do and even enjoyed doing these little things here and there, but they added up and got in the way of focusing on bigger picture items like growing the business and making decisions that only I could make as the CEO.
So I delegated those tasks to others.
Same thing with cleaning and housekeeping. Let it go.
I know I can do a great job at cleaning my house on my own, but I'd rather not because it is a huge time suck and it's exhausting.
Also, between Charlotte and Miami, I’d rather simplify managing and cleaning two places.
I will happily pay someone else to manage and keep my house clean while I work on private client work, writing and promoting this newsletter, being creative, building something new, and spending time with my dog and people I like and love.
You can too, and here’s how.
Take your earned monthly income over, say, three months and break it down to a daily, and then hourly rate.
Then, compare it to the $75, $150, $175+ or whatever the fee is for a maid to come and clean your house for 2 to 3 hours.
That’s taking back your (unpaid) time at dusting, scrubbing toilets, showers, bathtubs, stovetops, and microwaves, and vacuuming and mopping.
For the time your house stays clean (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, you set your cadence), I’d say it’s worth it.
You get back all the time it takes you to:
Decide what to clean
Decide when to clean
Actually clean
Put away cleaning supplies
Suffer and stew in anxiety and filth
House maid or house keeper?
What’s the biggest difference between a housemaid and a housekeeper?
A housemaid typically does the regular cleaning work of your house, which includes dusting, sweeping, mopping, and cleaning up of all the kitchen areas like the stove, microwave, and sink, and the bathrooms.
They’ll also change your bed linens.
They may also do some deep cleaning or outdoor work like window washing or sweeping and wiping down patio furniture.
A housekeeper, on the other hand, does a bit more, and when I say more, it’s most likely everything a maid does plus the laundry duties of the house.
This includes the washing, drying, folding, ironing, putting away, and hanging up of your clothes, and also managing all of the bed linens in the linen closet.
They’ll do more pantry, cupboard, storage, and closet organization, so they’ll get to know these spaces inside out, and they may also handle regular home deep cleaning and maintenance, for example plant-watering, and checking the mail.
There are also all sorts of hybrid housekeeper roles like house manager, and live-in nannies, too, who manage a little bit of everything to keep their families’ lives running smoothly.
What about theft
I mean, sure it’s a concern, but if people have dedicated their income, livelihood, reputation, and business to providing such services, then it’s highly unlikely they’ll steal from you.
Good, reliable cleaners get a ton of business from referrals, and they know that stealing (or any stealing rumors) are singlehandedly the most dangerous and surefire way to put them out of business for good.
Many professional house cleaning services do background checks, but I’ve found the relationships, loyalty, and mutual trust and respect you have for your cleaners are just as important.
Show and teach vs. scold and complain
If you treat people with respect, kindness, and a good attitude, then they’ll generally reciprocate.
You can make requests for how you like certain things to be done from a place of showing and teaching, rather than scolding and complaining.
In Manhattan, I had a wonderful maid of almost 10 years.
She was with me over multiple apartments in the Upper East Side, Chelsea, and NoMad.
I also remember another wonderful housekeeper who listened to audiobooks while she cleaned and had the best disposition; always calm, soft-spoken, and with a good attitude.
When she retired, it took a long time to find a worthy replacement.
The ones who talked back, complained, or generally had bad attitudes? They didn’t last.
What about you?
Do you have a housemaid or housekeeper you can’t live without? I’d love to hear in the comments!
Is there someone who needs to simplify their lives and do the math?
Send this to a person who needs it!
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Until next time,
Shindy
On Instagram + TikTok
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Rituals is a section where on the first Friday of every month, I’ll cover a regular daily, weekly, or monthly personal habit that has become ritual. It may be a lifestyle, wellness, or work practice that has become a valuable and beneficial part of my life. Enjoy!
The photo of you and the Baba is absolutely beautiful!!!!!!😍 🫶🏼💜
We are twins 👯!!!!!