Rituals: My mornings and evenings look like...
What happens in between is anybody's guess
PSA: I’m going LIVE on the Substack app next Friday, March 14th at noon EST.
As part of Substack’s inaugural live virtual food event, Grubstack, I’ll be visiting a local food hall and trying, in real-time, some yummy chef favorites. I’ll be making more announcements on Notes and on Instagram so stay tuned…
And now back to the following program→
Lately, I've been thinking about how people begin their mornings and close out their evenings.
And then, I think about how I try to set myself up for a great day, and how I wind down to destress and get restful, adequate sleep.
I don’t subscribe to any universal ‘formula’ and don’t compare what I do to anyone else — and you shouldn’t either.
Because everyone is unique and gurus, experts, and social media know-it-alls don’t account for this.
For example, I don’t have kids and I don’t work in an office.
My morning and evening routines are drastically different to what my new mom or commuting friends and relatives are going through.
But, I do remember a time when I did have to commute to a big office, and when I did have a teenager(s) in the house, and then had to put my CEO hat on.
Content entrepreneur | Agency Founder & CEO | Bestselling author Featured in Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, Business Insider, Bankrate, Cheddar TV, and HuffPost | Join more than 6,480 people on the internet who follow me for discerning lifestyle, travel, and money content:
The only certainty in life is uncertainty.
You’ll encounter interruptions, distractions, and challenges to everything outside of your control — and these aren’t always bad.
They may just even force you to tap into powerful behaviors in yourself that you didn’t know existed.
For example, a friend said her partner was never a morning person, and declared himself a night owl.
Well, guess what?
After being integrated into her life, which included the care of three young children, he learned how to become a morning person, and fast.
And it’s wonderful!
People in the centenarian documentary on Netflix attribute their long lives to feeling like they’re needed, helping, contributing, or being part of something like a community or social circle. They have daily schedules revolving around what gives them a sense of purpose.
Even so, with more responsibilities from everyday life, the only way you can stay centered, focused, healthy, and undeniably you, is through your habits.
So try to choose and stick to good, rewarding ones!
You did that
You know how you want to start something, like waking up earlier. Eating better. Working out.
Connecting more with your partner, friends, and family, and more frequently.
You might even say it out loud.
Then one day, you realize you’re automatically doing these things, without any thought?
You’re now up an hour earlier. Eating only fruits for sugar instead of sweets. Lifting weights.
Going to date nights or group dinners the first Fridays of every month, and every Sunday night with your parents.
Add a weekly call with an online creative community, or a group workout on weekends.
These are now your habits, and aren't so tedious to initiate anymore.
Yeah, you did that. Congrats, that’s awesome!
Little commitments like this often work best when you say them out loud, write them down, allocate the time and focus to do them, and tell someone else about it. (Not too dissimilar from stickier SMART goals which I’ve written about before.)
My typical morning
Regardless of whether I’m in Miami or Charlotte, I pretty much have my morning routine down pat.
Here’s what my mornings look like:
6 to 7am: Wake up, drink a glass of water
Sometimes my body clock wakes me up 2 minutes before my alarm goes off. Or, it might be my watch vibrating that wakes me up.
Before coffee, I’ll drink a glass of water.Make coffee
No one can stop me from making or having a morning coffee. I love a cup to start my day; I grind my beans and make myself a piping hot pourover coffee with half & half or frothed oat milk, or I’ll grab a regular coffee or cortado somewhere if I’ve run out of beans at home.Make the bed
If I don’t make the bed right after waking up, I’ll do it at some point in the morning. Making the bed is a nice way of taking care of yourself and tidying up.
Also, a beautifully made bed is nice to look at, and is so inviting at night.Feed Mr. Bean
As with all living creatures in our care, they need attention. After Bean is fed and watered, we…Go for a walk (or run)
I aim to walk Bean for at least 20 minutes every morning. That’s about a mile, or a little over a mile if we’re walking briskly.Work out
I’ve been using the Peloton or ALO Yoga app for morning workouts. I lift weights or do some kind of hybrid pilates/core/strength thing. I’ve invested in enough home gym equipment (mats, weights, bands, sliders) so I don’t go to a gym. If the weather’s nice, I can also go for a long run with or without Bean, or a bike ride.Shower, start working
I’m working on several creative projects like food and travel writing, video editing, planning and writing this newsletter, and I’m also part of online communities where we hold each other accountable for getting work done.
I’m currently in the process of writing up a course where I’m teaching solopreneurs how to get more consistent business from clients they enjoy working with, based on my experience of doing the same thing.
Make breakfast or a snack
I don’t mind a late breakfast and sometimes I’ll skip it altogether depending on how I’m feeling.
If I do eat breakfast I’ll do so after a workout; it works for me, and I’ve read enough articles to learn I may burn more fat by working out in the morning before breakfast, than later in the evening. This is something I’ve definitely reversed, because I used to only work out in the afternoons or early evenings.
A caveat: These are typical weekdays, because weekends are when I do longer workouts or walks, more social activities, and other more intensive house projects like painting, decor, and remodeling.
But during the week, I try to take out as much analysis paralysis or decision fatigue as possible in the mornings, so I have more brain space for creative and strategic thinking later.
For example, I make things easy on myself by having only one bag of coffee beans to choose from, or only 1 to 3 possible breakfast options, so I don’t spend too much time deliberating on what to eat.
For workouts, I prefer the same 20- to 30-minute themed workouts, that way I’m not mindlessly scrolling through other options.
My typical evening
Unless I have evening plans, here’s what my evenings usually look like:
Between 5 to 6:30pm: Feed and walk Bean
The evening starts when the little prince, who can be exceedingly annoying and cute, or annoying or cute depending on his mood, gets his dinner. Our evening walks last 15 to 20 minutes. Depending on the weather and season, we’re usually chasing sunsets.By 7pm: Eat dinner
I like to finish eating my dinner by 7pm. This means I may start prepping and cooking an hour or so earlier.
History has shown that I sleep better when my food has all night to digest. Even if I’m going out to restaurants, I like to book early dinners and don’t care if I’m first in the door at 5pm.
Oh haiii. Just eating an early dinner here 7:30ish to 9ish: Entertainment, recreation, and creative work
This block includes an assortment of activities, like: playing guitar, watching Jeopardy or a short show or half of a movie, catching up on emails or conversations with friends, and seeing what I missed on social media.
This is also when I’ll do things leftover from the morning, like edit photos, video, and write up social media posts, or additional writing or planning things like this newsletter.9:30 to 10:30pm: Powering down, tidying up
Before I go to bed, I look around and tidy up. I’ll straighten up the couch and living room, gather up Bean’s toys, do the dishes, and hand wash the coffee tools I need for my pourover the next morning.
These simple tasks help make mornings so much smoother, and allow me to stick to my morning habits a lot easier.
And, there’s nothing better than starting your day by coming into a neat living room and kitchen space.
Even when I had/have housekeepers and maids, I still tidy up on my own because sloppy surroundings really compound my procrastination behaviors.
One thing I started doing recently is leaving my phone to charge in the living room at night.
I no longer carry it into the bedroom with me, nor do I charge it at my night table, in a drawer, like I used to do.
The temptation to scroll at night or to wake up and check the phone immediately was too great. I know this isn’t possible for many people in case of emergencies.
In that case I recommend phone settings where you can designate certain favorite contacts to always get through “Sleep” or “Do Not Disturb” modes on ringer or vibrate settings.10:30 to 11pm: Nighttime powering down, beauty and skincare, reading
I’m diligent about my nighttime beauty routine.
It’s 7 to 10 steps and I never waver from it:I’ll put Bean in his crate (in a separate room most nights; sometimes he manages to sleep on the bed — jeez I don’t know how 🙄), and I refill a humidifier.
My ideal sleep temperature is 67 to 69 degrees F. I have blackout shades.
I also wear soft earplugs because more often than not I’ve been woken up by sirens or trains or other random noises.
Some people nowadays advocate for mouth tape to ensure proper breathing through the nostrils, but I haven’t tried or needed that.
Finally, I aim to read for about 20 to 30 minutes — either a physical book or on my Kindle.
I also have smart bedroom lights that come on at a low setting around 9pm and once they go off at 10:30pm, I’m in darkness and can only read on my Kindle, or with a small alarm+table lamp.
Habit stacking can help get you unstuck
I’ve found what has worked for me—perhaps even saved me, especially when I found myself stuck, in a creative rut, or just functionally depressed—is sticking to routines and healthy habits.
Giving yourself grace is another…this includes self care, exploring places on your own, and saying “no” to people who might want you to do too much.
A lot of times, bad habits or behaviors can be replaced by small tweaks.
For example, instead of reading on my phone, I’ll read on my Kindle.
Instead of eating random snacks and sweets, I’ll eat nuts, dark chocolate, or fruit.
Instead of trying to figure out what to watch, I’ll stop booping around if I can’t find something after 5 minutes, and pick up my guitar instead.
What about you? What are your morning or evening rituals?
I’d love to know!
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Until next time,
Shindy
On Instagram + TikTok
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Rituals is a section where on the first Friday of every month, I’ll cover a regular daily, weekly, or monthly personal habit. It may be a lifestyle, wellness, or work practice that has become a valuable and beneficial part of my life. Enjoy!
A great explanation and what a great routine...just don't ask me to share mine now, I'm a bit ashamed.
This was fantastic!!! I’m so exhausted from reading what you’ve accomplished before lunch w/ Mr. Bean!!
I need a nap right now. 😂