How Chapel Hill shaped me, pt. 2
London, my stalker, the car accident that changed my life, and my fave teachers
The UNC-Chapel Hill men's basketball team has won the NCAA title 6 times (1957, 1982, 1993, 2005, 2009, and 2017).
But, they weren’t winners when I attended and won’t be this year either, womp womp.
On the other hand, the UNC women’s soccer team dominated the NCAA when I was there, and did for almost 20 consecutive years.
I totally fan-girled when Mia Hamm who, as a pro was back in town to mentor a soccer camp, walked into the video store where I worked and I helped her check out some DVDs.
Part 1 in case you missed it:
As mentioned, college was a weird time for me…complete with identity crises where I had evolving friend groups and music tastes.
I also had low confidence and low self worth; I validated myself with promiscuity, and dated (if you can call it that) questionable guys 🙄.
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But that’s all part of growing up.
Perhaps most apparent was a restlessness to get out into the world so I could make a creative contribution; I dreamt of working in New York City right after graduation as a magazine writer in entertainment and pop culture.
Looking back however, I wouldn't change a thing—except maybe being more present when it mattered.
While there however, I did have several life-changing, eye-opening experiences:
I studied abroad in London
An opportunity came up to study abroad in a London Honors Program.
It required a certain GPA, an interview, and (I think?) IQ requirements.
As part of a group of around 30 students where 2 or 3 were Morehead Scholars (kids with full rides as recipients of the most competitive UNC scholarship), I knew I was one of the least qualified attendees merit-wise.
But there I was in London for the first time, arriving on a cold, dark January winter morning, which eventually gave way to a beautiful April spring.
While the cohort stuck together for the most part, eventually I broke free and explored on my own.
I went out to night clubs and even dated a couple of British guys—including one I’d reconnect with later in life, but that’s for my London story 😉.
Of course I went to live shows and concerts, most notably the Lauryn Hill concert at Brixton Academy that Adele herself attended.
There I was. in the Brixton tube station along with a German girl I’d just met, begging and screaming for anyone to sell us tickets at a reasonable price because they were being scalped for hundreds of GBP and I was a broke student.
The German girl managed to secure a cheap ticket and another kind soul took pity on me I guess, selling me a ticket for 25£, almost face value, just as the crowd began moving and the concert was starting.
Aside from that, there were visits to Stonehenge, Oxford University, endless galleries, museums, parks, and trips to Amsterdam, Edinburgh, and Paris.
I’m really grateful for this time in London; it opened up the possibility of returning to live and work there—which I eventually did.
I had a stalker
In the summer before my senior semester (I was a senior for only one semester because I graduated early), a guy approached me in a CVS parking lot and asked me out.
I was not attracted to him in the slightest, and turned him down.
But then, he just kept popping up everywhere.
He was persistent and polite, so finally, to be nice, I agreed to go to dinner with him, but that was that.
The dinner was pretty uneventful and I made it clear afterwards I wasn’t interested in anything more than friendship.
What I didn’t know at the time was that he worked at UNC as a temp, and his role gave him access to student records.
That’s how he found out where I lived.
So, while I was out of town during winter break, he decided to break into my apartment.
I wasn’t there, but my roommate was.
I’ll spare the details to respect her privacy, but he was arrested later at a traffic stop, indicted, and ultimately linked to 2 similar crimes close to where we lived.
Turned out he was also wanted in other states for felony crimes, and had a lengthy rap sheet of burglary, armed robbery, kidnapping, breaking and entering, and sexual assault.
If I recall, his “temp” employee status was how he evaded more thorough background checks to be a full-time employee.
At trial, he was found guilty and is serving a sentence without parole.
It was AWFUL.
I don’t know what else to say about this, except that I’ll try my best to teach women including my teenage nieces about being smart, alert, aware, and setting proper boundaries on social media and IRL.
To trust your intuition when things feel off, and to never feel like you have to “be nice” or “feel bad” about declining invites or requests.
I was in a car accident that changed my life
So about that dream to live and work in New York City…let’s just say the universe has funny ways of showing you what’s what.
I did eventually get to work there, but not until years later, and not straight out of college like I wanted.
As a student of UNC’s journalism school—one of the best in the country—I interviewed for and was selected to go with a small group to New York, tour newsrooms, speak to, and interview with alumni, editors, and writers who already worked at newspapers and magazines there.
This was my chance to get my foot in the door. I really felt like I was on my way!
But two nights before the trip, I was at a house party when a girlfriend decided to make a beer run.
I had no clue she was totally drunk. She seemed completely cognizant.
We acquired the beer no problem, but on the short 5-minute drive back, she lost control of the car.
It veered off the road, jumped the curb, and headed straight toward a house.
(Luckily?) The guy in the back seat screamed at her, and she overcorrected so we missed the house, but instead plowed straight into a telephone pole.
Stupid me, too cool to wear a seat belt for the short ride home, had my body and head slam into the front passenger side’s sun visor.
Once I realized I was okay for the most part, I looked down and my forehead began swelling to the size of a grapefruit.
The guy in the back seat injured his arm; the driver, well, she was okay because she was wearing her seat belt.
We never spoke to each other again.
I went to the ER and was told to ice the swelling.
I was also told that all the blood in my forehead would eventually drain down into my eyes, giving me two black eyes for about two weeks.
So I didn’t meet with any UNC alumni in NYC.
I went home to recuperate, and missed a week’s worth of classes.
It was pretty fucking depressing.
I understand how people with physical disabilities must feel when being stared at in public.
With 2 black eyes and a massive bruise/scar on my forehead, I wanted to joke-scream, “How bout you pull up a chair and stare at my fucked-up face? Would you like that?”
So yeah, again, I don’t really have anything else to say about this experience except nowadays I put on my seatbelt as soon as I get into any car, Uber, or taxi, and I don’t care whether people laugh at me out of my over-abundance of caution.
I loved my teachers
Of course, I had some incredible professors.
The legendary Chuck Stone, whose son created the Bud Light “Whasssuuuppppp” commercials, referred me to an editor at a Raleigh newspaper because he pulled me aside, told me I was a “good writer,” and “should work in news.”
That made my whole year.
There was also Jessica Wolfe, who made Shakespeare and classical literature so entertaining and accessible.
And then Dr. Johnny Greene, my African-American Literature professor whose humor and compassion (esp. after my accident) I’ll never forget.
And so many others: English Lit, French, Chinese, and a loony Contemporary Art professor in London who had a bias bob, acrylic pink earrings, and introduced us to Damien Hirst, Anish Kapoor, and her love of J.M.W. Turner, though she said it in a high-pitched, bird-like shrill voice and it sounded like Turrrrrr-ner.
But that made me fall in love with JMW Turner:
I didn’t make it to New York after graduation.
Instead, I went to the next, closest big city: Atlanta, aka Hotlanta, and next in my series of cities that shaped me.
What about you?
What were your college-defining moments? Tell me, I’d love to know in comments or replies!
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Until next time,
Shindy
On Instagram + TikTok
Some recent food things:
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