My dad, the lifelong learner
And other things he's taught me
Do you believe that half your luck in life is decided for you the day you’re born?
I do.
Your location, family, environment, and affluence in the world – these predetermined, unavoidable circumstances set you up for a journey that only you can ameliorate as you become a fully functioning, self aware adult.
Which makes me reflect this Father’s Day holiday weekend in the U.S., on the opportunities afforded me by my Dad’s choices in life.
I am so grateful he taught me his work ethic, to keep chugging along no matter what, and a curiosity to always be learning new things – all while having an air of just going with the flow.
Here are a few things my Dad taught me.
Use education as a way to live and work abroad
Like my Dad, I have a constant zest to live and work abroad.
In the early ‘80s my Dad relocated permanently from Taiwan, where he was teaching quality control at National Taiwan University of Science and Technology, to the U.S.
He pursued a PhD in management information systems at Rutgers University, and then achieved a Computer Information Science (CIS) master’s degree at the New Jersey Institute of Technology (NJIT).
Like my Dad, I used college, business school, and internship programs to visit, study, and work in places like Paris, Shanghai, Rio de Janeiro, New York, and London.
A global relocation is exciting but daunting, especially when there are no family members on the other side.
But there he was, starting a new life and pursuing the American dream.
While I know my Dad had friends in academia to help him get settled in, I can’t imagine what it was like for someone whose English at the time was so-so at best.
With his student and teaching visa status, he took the chance to relocate my family. So my mom, brother, and I immigrated as well.
My Dad then received an offer to be an assistant professor in computer science at Johnson C. Smith University, an HBCU in Charlotte, N.C.
He took it and moved the family south.
Upon first glance, mid-’80s Bible belt Charlotte didn’t offer much when compared to up north. My brother and I were dismayed by the lack of Toys “R” Us stores.
And, this was way before it became a banking and insurance destination, and home of Bank of America.
Dare to pivot and try new ventures
Then, something curious happened.
My parents decided to purchase an oriental grocery foods market. There, they made inroads into the local Chinese community.
Not long after, they opened a Chinese restaurant in south Charlotte, just minutes from the state line into South Carolina.
The restaurant business is tough enough on its own, and I recall my Dad relying on Chinese friends who said they would offer resources and advice. But after he opened a restaurant of his own, they pretty much disappeared.
I worked at the restaurant from my early teens until I left for college.
I learned a lot, which I’ll share at a later date, but generally, food service teaches you responsibility, face-to-face human interaction, customer service, and patience to deal with everything from racists to straight up assholes.
Both the grocery and restaurant businesses are still operating today, under different owners.
Learn a skill no one can take from you
After I graduated from college, my parents sold the restaurant.
I felt relieved that they would finally break away from tedious, backbreaking 12- to 18-hour workdays.
My dad then returned to teaching, this time at a local community college.
But a lot of time had passed and he had been away from advances in computers, software, technology, coding and programming languages, and web-based applications.
Instead of teaching Computer Science, he taught basic computer applications.
His teaching experience and academic credentials were what enabled him to get back after a long time away.
Always be curious, always be learning
While teaching at the college, he took advantage of piano and voice lessons, and also expanded his participation in a virtual Buddhist study community, where he often leads classes and speaks regularly.
Nowadays, he's retired and working on a book project, where he's transcribing and re-interpreting historic Buddhist writings for a more modern audience.
He's been so diligent at this for the past year and the book is now in second edits.
As a published author myself, I’m so proud of him and excited to see it to fruition, because self-discipline and focus are the hardest things authors, writers, and any creators face.
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Until next time,
Shindy
On Instagram + TikTok
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