How to master the Irish Exit
I'll teach you how to be the most ninja of all ninjas when it comes to a deft goodbye
Weddings. Work events. House parties. Dinner parties. Garden parties. Baby showers. Nights out with friends.
Are you as exhausted as I am?
Because when it’s time to go, it’s time to go.
I’d like to believe that I’ve mastered the art of the Irish Exit.
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One minute I’m there, the next I’m not, and by the time anyone realizes (or not), I’m long gone and on to my next thing.
There could be a number of reasons why to Irish Exit.
The party's boring or things get weird. You feel your presence is no longer needed. You want to go eat. Or maybe you just need to get home to the babysitter or dog.
But there's simply no reason to linger once you feel the urge to leave, and you definitely don’t want to be the last man standing.
Scarcity adds to your mystique and intrigue as a party guest.
Believe it or not, there’s an easier way to exit through the trap door and get where you need to be (home in bed) without the stress of having to say goodbye to everyone and everything at the party.
Origin of the Irish Exit
An Irish Exit is when you leave a social event or gathering without saying goodbye to the host or anyone else.
Funnily enough, in Ireland it’s a “French Exit,” and in Germany it’s a “Polish Exit,” but then in France it’s an English Exit, so who’s exiting who?
Apparently it dates back to the Seven Years’ War and implies when a person left his or her responsibilities or military duties in secret and without notice or permission.
In the U.S. the term’s American twist may come from one of two origin stories: 1) the sadness of people departing Ireland during the Potato Famine, and 2) drunk Irish Americans quickly escaping the scene of the crime.
How to pull off the perfect Irish Exit
Here are my tips to being the most ninja of all ninjas when it comes to pulling off the most deft Irish Exit:
1. Get over yourself
You’re not that important.
The host is busy tending to other guests and making sure the house doesn’t burn down; other party attendees can entertain themselves without you.
2. Timing is everything
If the host invited you, then say hello and extend your gratitude for inviting you.
Wait until the party has settled in a bit, usually about an hour to an hour and a half in.
Try to stick around for at least an hour or so yourself.
Then, look around the room. When people are distracted and engaged in conversations, make a run for it.
3. Keep your things close by
If your host hasn’t set up an out of the way coatrack, then set your jacket or handbag close by and in a discreet spot.
Don’t lay down your items in the center of the room and definitely not on the couch in the middle of the living room.
You can’t make a seamless escape if you’re tripping on people or making a show of grabbing your things to leave. (But also, just try to show up with as little as possible.)
4. Move fast
Nothing to see here.
Just leave swiftly and calmly without making eye contact with anyone.
The faster and quieter, the better.
When not to Irish Exit
Assuming you have some sense of courtesy and etiquette, use your best judgment and do what feels right.
Small gatherings
If you’re at a dinner party where you’re one of only 8 to 12 people, well then it’s probably not a good idea to escape without saying goodbye to at least the host or anyone.
You’re super close with the host
If you are very close with the host, then do make an effort to be an active participant, stay longer, and say goodbye.
Oh no! Caught in the act
Aya, busted!
My suggestions for avoiding any awkward social faux pas:
Say your Uber/Lyft/taxi/tandem bike/e-scooter is waiting and politely and apologetically excuse yourself
Blame it on an early wakeup related to work or travel or working out
Promise to catch up with them soon and be gracious
Get better at Irish Exiting and next time, don’t get caught!
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Until next time,
Shindy
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